i switched on my computer. i hoped.

but i felt disappointed. i din see what i wanted to see.

i really wanted to share.. my worries, my heartache.

but..

a wishing well!

i asked for something i wanted.. and i got it! so happy..

its neither expensive nor big.. just something simple. but that was all i needed.

'其实你很爱她'

what is the meaning? i interpret. he interprets. she interprets.

the person i feel most guilty to...

i have not received any replies...
u forgot? or busy..

i had been having similar dreams. tue night and fri night.

i was outside.. very happy.. with a person.

saturday. i went cut my hair again.

pissed off with my sister. ah boy was playing with a pointer and putting it in his mouth. my dad saw it, blamed my sister for not looking after him. she was just sitting beside him and yet she din see it. what was she doing? eyes glued to the tv again.. dad was worried that if ab boy put the pointer in his mouth, and if he fall down or what, things will get disasterous!

and so.. dad scolded her.

but.. she din seem sorry for her mistake. she even scolded dad and even put the blame on the pointer and the person who bought the pointer, my mother!

gosh! why does this girl just dun understand? a pointer, a pen, a chopstick. its the same! e fault doesnt lie with the pointer, it lies with her!

i was so irritated with her. i mean, you dun admit its your wrong, your carelessness, you even put the blame on something else and even scold your own dad and mum!

i got angry. scolded her. kaoz, i think my blood pressure shot up.

she.. doesnt really know how to take care of her own kid.
ah boy just have to learn to take care of himself.

i just dun want her to scold our parents, make them angry or what. jus imagine, if she was my daughter, i was scolding her just now, i could feel my heart beating fast, my whole face was red with anger.
i dun wan my parents to have their blood pressure go up!

friday night.

remembered.
stayed, waited.

:D

thursday.

me and elmo signed up for the ambassador thing. go deliver gifts to the children. as part of children's day, our bank decided to help the poor children and to help fulfil their wishes. they took down their wishes and asked the staff, we, to help volunteer as ambassador to deliver the gifts to them.

gifts include popular vouchers, zoo & birdpark pass, singapore flyer pass, ez link and even study table and chairs and more! depending on what the kids want...

and so.. it was today. elmo was super busy. supposed to leave the office at 4pm. but in the end, we left at about 430pm.

took a cab to hougang as both families are at hougang. we headed to the 1st family. chinese family. reached there. we saw 3 kids, 1 girl and 2 boys. the girl was the recipent of the gifts. 1 of the boys, i think he abit retard. he kept staring blankly at us, smiling foolishly and kept attracting our attention while we were there. there was the mother too.

the girl was shy.. din talk much. only nodded happily when i passed her the gifts. the mother.. also din talk much. after telling them to note the expiry dates of the vouchers, we left, din really stayed for long.

actually, for those retarded children, they live in a very innocent world of themselves. they treat everyone nice. nobody's evil or bad in their world. such a simple world they live in, yet there are still people who would bully such kids..

2nd family. malay family. the house has got 5 kids!

the girl, recipent of the gifts. her mother. 2 boys who are the kids of the mother's brother, but the mother is looking after as the brother went in and out of prison. 2 girls, kids of the mother's sister, she was asked to fetch them from school that day.

the mother. very friendly. we chatted for quite some time. told us about their situation. her daughter, the recipent, was shy and quiet too, but kept smiling at us. the little girl, very poor thing, got bullied by her friends in school and got molested near her house recently. the mother reported to the police but still no results. the mother said her daughter was quiet, so the molester targetted her, she even din shout when the molester dragged her to the 2nd floor of the HDB block.

gosh! lucky, one of the little boy was with her that time, kept crying and shouting. the molester went away after some time. if not, he could have done more to her.

my heart really ached.

and.. the mother told us more abt the family. that her husband is working and earns $800 a month. her mother suffered a stroke recently. she has to take care of the whole family alone, from the young to the old.

feeling quite heavy hearted.

the rich gets richer and the poor really gets poorer.

i mean, the family is already poor, its already pitiful for the kid. and yet the kid has to go through all the bad things.

and so.. the world gets really unfair.
why cant it be average and all humans get equal treatment?

i suppose.. thats the way it is.

and here we are.. still complaining abt our life. abt how stressful, how unhappy or how frustrating..

i guess.. we all shld learn to be contented. :-)

sunday. decided to go cycling again!

but before that, we made a trip down to chai chee, to my auntie's hse.

reached my auntie's hse. talked to ting, my cousin. she and her bf are planning to get married and her bf's dad are against it.. so she asked me, if i were her, would i proceed?

well.. she (or rather they) had made up their mind to proceed.. i suppose she just needed another supporting role.

ting.. is 3 years younger than me. and if news spread to my mum (maybe it already had...), i think, hmm.....

and now.. i am feeling the pressure.

sharks.. and i am the only one left.

we often hear news of other countries here.. as though serious when we read / see the news reported.

but often, the ppl who are living in that country, will think of it as nothing serious.

take the typhoon in taiwan for example. when we see news of typhoon, we will think of it badly or serious over there. but when u are there yourself, you will feel that life is still the same for the ppl living there, or rather it is as per normal for u when u are there...

same applies for the violent protests ongoing in thailand.. we think of it as serious, but the ppl there may think of it nothing.

im not sure why.. is it because we are not used to such things here? eg, riots, natural disasters. which explains our reaction? or because the ppl in other countries are used to such things that they are not really affected, in other sense, over time, they learnt to protect themselves from such things?

public holiday. hari raya puasa. children's day!

went cycling at east coast with my family. wah, its been a long time i have been on a bicycle.. i even gave my boy a ride on the bicycle! pretty heavy, almost couldnt balance.. but okay after awhile. :-)