Kemp is down with chicken pox. Spent the whole day taking care of him, consoling him and playing with him so that he can be distracted from his pain and uneasiness.

He was painful when he bathed in the morning and evening. He was painful when I applied cream on his spots. He was feeling itchy all over and yet there was nothing I can do..

The only fortunate thing? He had 1 kind of medicine and the medicine was not bad tasting.

But he had to eat it 4 times a day and for a week. He was given mC for 2 weeks. He couldn't start school next week...

He woke up from his nap in the afternoon and he was feeling restless. I guess the medicine had made him drowsy and weak... He complained of legs aching... He was feeling tired, he couldn't walk... He cried. He cried cos he feels like he was bedridden.

I realised. Such an active boy like him suddenly feels weak and tired... He must have felt upset. I accompanied him. Talking to him and consoling him. Played with him. Accompanied him watched tv. Did whatever I can to make him feel less unhappy....

He felt even more itchy at night.. And more spots... And more painful. And more restless.

My heart really ached for him. But I had to cheer him up. He almost couldn't sleep cos he had spots on his scalp and it was painful when he lied on his head. I told him to try certain sleeping postures... But he didn't. He just told us he will try to sleep.... In the end, he slept on 1 of his hand.

Almost wanted to skip his injection for dinner.. Cos I saw him feeling so uncomfortable, didn't want to burden him more with his injections.. But there wasn't a choice....

My heart really ached for him. Why must he need to suffer so much when he is still so young? Reminds me of the time when he was diagnosed of diabetes....

He is really our good boy. I hope he recovers fast. If not, may God pass all his pain to me.... I don't wish to see him suffer so much.

Although I was feeling pain with my menses and stomach attacks.. I put aside my pain and took care of him... Because he had been a good boy when I was sick.

When he was well and I was bedridden previously with my stomach attacks, he was a good boy and did all my bidding. Helped me to ferry my things here and there and not disturbing me when I needed rest.

He is definitely my good boy and I want to see him all well and jumpy soon... God, please pass all his pain to me.

Part of me wants to return to the past.. I miss those days.. He is, I would say, the only one who treats me nice.

But.. Would it work out? I dunno.. Is it wasting each other's time? I dunno...
Actually I know... I know that it is not workable but I still miss those days....

Another Part of me.. Needs to be logical. I need to stop wasting people's time.. He can look for another girl and set up his happy family.

Feel especially lonely now since I fell sick.... Recalled the previous time I felt sick.... It also felt lonely plus angry cos I wasn't getting the concern that I needed....

No Expectations = No Hope = No Anger....

Its been so long ago since it last attacked.... Not sure why it recurred again.....

I don't want to spend my remaining block leave being sick.....

Really felt terrible last night... Felt like dying... Felt cold and nausea.. Stomach was super bloated.. Just terrible and bad.. Head was hurting badly too...

Wondering what is happening to my body.... =(

Feeling real terrible...
Hope the feeling go away soon......

喝水都想吐。。

My stomach's acting up again... Feels weird and no appetite for food....

Went KSL @ JB alone today... Wanted some peace and quiet.... Also wanted to pamper myself, do my long awaited pedicure and manicure.

But it was a wrong choice to go anywhere on a Sunday.... It was long queue at Immigration and very crowded at KSL... But I still managed to do my pedicure and manicure... Wanted to shop for clothes but didn't see anything I like... Had my dinner and headed home.

Wanted to reach home before 7 so that I could help inject Kemp for dinner (dad was out for mahjong)... But I couldn't make it in time so I didn't bother... Just left for my dad to do all the trouble....

Hoping that by pampering myself, I can be happier...

Dinner @ KSL... Alone.

Maybe we had know these all along but we just refused to face the facts.....

Anyway I hope he will sort out his thoughts soon... And not be angry with me... And wishing him sucess in everything.... And that we are still friends.....

It is a fact. He won't be coming back Singapore and it will be difficult for me to go Thailand. Even more difficult for my old folks to retire in an unfamiliar place. I have told him several times but I guess he just refuse to accept this fact.

I am not sure if I will ever regret. Even if I do, I don't have a choice. Maybe there will be a day in future where he truly understand my situation.

He has finally Finished his studies. All my waiting these years should have a favourable outcome..

But I guess... Everything happens for a reason.

Food @ JB 23 Dec 2011

I am tired of living.
I don't feel happy....

Block Leave 2011

Yes I have started my block leave... Just finished my only trip during my block leave... What to do next...

Cleaning up the house... Tidying my notes for work... Tidying my work laptop... Taking care of Kemp.. Staying home and Putting up with Mum's temper and handling their nonsense... Seriously I rather go work.....

I am back from Genting.
But I feel very tired. Actually part of me feels like never to bring them go travel again cos it is a very tiring task. Imagine me myself taking care of 3 persons. What a ratio... 1:3.

My parents are really getting old and blur. I have to worry about them getting lost when they go out themselves. Plus they are forgetful, they cannot recognise the way. I cannot lose sight of any of them.

Did everything. From packing bags, checking in, going around the place, ordering food, taking care of Kemp so that they can go casino.... Everything.

I did not have time for myself. Even if I felt unwell, I had to tolerate and take care of Kemp. Kemp vomitted while going up Genting. Hence we were worried he will vomit the same when going down. And so I sat with him, took care of him so that my old folks could rest.

Anyway it was a tiring trip.

But another part of me feels that if I do not bring them around now when they are still healthy and able to walk.. Then when do I want to wait for....

Anyway I am tired....

KL

Some foods that Uncle Huat brought us to eat at KL....

Durians (Cheap & Nice) at 半山

Cheap Seafood @ Mushroom Farm near Genting

Dim Sum @ Genting Restaurant (Yummy!!)

My Favourite Dishes @ Genting Restaurant (Part 2)

My Favourite Dishes @ Genting Restaurant

Happy Birthday to Him.
Wishing Him success in everything He does.

我想

轻松一下，开心一点。

加油吧！

Kemp's favourite Vegetarian Noodle from Chinatown = My Lunch

=)

Finally left the office... Supposed to be on half day today.... But I had to do work until 4 plus.... I finally left the office... And I am on leave for 2 weeks!!

Finally I can breathe... Have not been sleeping well last few weeks.... Too stressed over work I guess.... Hopefully I can have a good sleep tonight....

=)

I feel stressed suddenly.....

Facial Cum Shopping @ Bugis

Food!!!

Engrossed

I was too engrossed in watching my tv drama in my iphone just now... That I actually forgot to alight at Bugis.... =__=

Retail Therapy

Retail therapy Makes me feel Life is meaningful.

Retail therapy makes me feel Happy.

Of course there are consequences..... But what is more important than making myself happy.....?

I haven't been really happy for a long long time.....

Pampering myself makes me feel Happy.
I am the most important.

I must be too stressed....

I just remembered that I was thinking about work before sleep last night...

I must be too stressed over finishing my work before my block leave next week.....

Worried

About economy going down.... About retrenchment.....

=(

...............

That Woman: Did you tell him not to go with us?? He is Tan family son!! U don't influence him so much!!! If he is not going with us then tell us earlier!!! Waste of our time!!!


I am totally speechless. I can return her son to her anytime. Not a word of thanks nor feeling of appreciation. Only blames and scoldings.
What the fuck.

Bad Luck..... =(

My income tax assessement was being audited.... And they found out that the parent relief that I applied for was not eligible as my dad had an annual income definitely more than $4k.....

And so they reassess my income tax assessment.... And I am required to pay more income tax.....

=(
Bad luck.......

I find it meaningless......