Tired tired tired.....

I think my blog recently is all about tired tired tired.... I wonder when will I recover my quality sleep....

I cancelled my facial appointment tomorrow.. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep... Decided not to go anywhere tomorrow... Will stick to my bed.

Been too busy packing and with work.

Been in this office for nearly 10 years. My second home for nearly 10 years. I guess... I can only look forward to the new office. Nothing can be done even if I can't bear this place... I guess I will miss the food around here.

Too busy recently to reminisce anything....

I had a nightmare yesterday.
And so I didn't sleep well... Tired.

Feels like destressing. I want to go shopping... Should I bring them along....?

Finally...

Finally the farewell party is over... Left office at 9. Super tired.

Lots of eating, chatting.. sa-boing other people... And I won the most Ready To Go Award (more than 5 years category).. shows that I have finished packing and I am ready to go, can shift anytime... Won $150 worth of taka vouchers. Happy... thanks to those, including my officers that voted for me...

I am glad tonight is over... and it's one more week before we shift. Get it over and done with... it's killing me... next week would be exciting... and of course tiring.

Kemp has been good. Not watching t v as promised for 4 days. Today is the last day of his punishment. I am glad that he managed to keep his promise...

Today is our farewell party. Another late night... I hope they will end early...

I hope I can sleep tonight...
I need sleep....

Late late late...

Everyday reach home late. I am so so tired...
工作好辛苦。。。 I am looking forward to my break in August....

That's my only trip.
I have yet to clear my block leave... Not sure where to go... Not sure if I should bring them. Contradicting. Tired if I bring them along. Guilty if I don't bring them.

Felt as though I didn't sleep.
Tired. Another busy day gonna start.. I hope I don't go home too late today....

Doctor says I need to take Kemp's reading at 2am.... In order to determine if his morning highs are due to too much insulin medicine before dinner....

2Am!! I need sleep.....
:-(

On Leave... But Tiring Day.

Kemp doctor appointment today. Went out at about 10 plus and reached home at about 8 plus. Was outside the whole day.

Went Orchard after doctor. Ate lunch at about 2 plus 3. Hungry but not much appetite... Drank my 2nd dose of bubble tea for this week... Felt bloated thereafter...

Did window shopping thereafter... Take bus 502 home. Decide to alight at IMM, wanted to buy dinner home.... But dad say to eat there instead... I didn't eat dinner as I had No appetite.

Dad drove Kemp to tuition and suggested grocery shopping for me and mum. And so we went Giant.... Shopped till 8 plus. Spent $200 plus... I got a shock... it was always $150 plus... Anyway it was time to fetch Kemp from tuition... And so we fetched him and so we reached home at 8 plus. Unpacked the grocery as well as Kemp's medicine and consumables... and bathed... and finally ate some food at 9 plus...

Though I was on leave, my colleague kept calling me.. she was asking me about my cases and how she should do....

I nearly wanted to go back office after lunch... but she say she could try to do it....

Though on leave... But I am so tired. It's been a long long day......

On Leave... But Tiring Day.

Kemp doctor appointment today. Went out at about 10 plus and reached home at about 8 plus. Was outside the whole day.

Went Orchard after doctor. Ate lunch at about 2 plus 3. Hungry but not much appetite... Drank my 2nd dose of bubble tea for this week... Felt bloated thereafter...

Did window shopping thereafter... Take bus 502 home. Decide to alight at IMM, wanted to buy dinner home.... But dad say to eat there instead... I didn't eat dinner as I had No appetite.

Dad drove Kemp to tuition and suggested grocery shopping for me and mum. And so we went Giant.... Shopped till 8 plus. Spent $200 plus... I got a shock... it was always $150 plus... Anyway it was time to fetch Kemp from tuition... And so we fetched him and so we reached home at 8 plus. Unpacked the grocery as well as Kemp's medicine and consumables... and bathed... and finally ate some food at 9 plus...

Though I was on leave, my colleague kept calling me.. she was asking me about my cases and how she should do....

I nearly wanted to go back office after lunch... but she say she could try to do it....

Though on leave... But I am so tired. It's been a long long day......

Payday..

It's payday. It's time to pay all the bills. This month pretty tight, with the annual insurance premium due and my facial package due. Not much savings and not much extra money to spend. Still wanted to get a pair of pants for myself... I guess I have to wait till next month... And I have not done any grocery shopping.... Got to set aside money for that too.

Life is all about money.

好累

好累好累好累好累好累好累好累！
我真的好累！

讲话也吵。不讲话也吵。
说话也不对。可是说多越错。

好害怕。害怕不了解。害怕吵架。害怕不于快。我好害怕。我只想平静。。。。
我能处理压力。。可是我解决不了我的害怕。。。 救命啊。。。

我真的不想增加我生活的压力。。。。

Skipped dinner as I was feeling awful.
Headache again...

I realised I got a lot of paper cuts on my hands... must be those packing...

了解

Grumpy. Naggy. Ready to explode. Easily frustrated.

I wonder if anyone really understands me, my actions, my words.
I wonder the feeling of Being understood.

Angry. Disappointed.

Yesterday went to OG with Kemp to look for his heelys shoes, the shoes with rollers at the sole. Saw the shoes but it costs $168! So expensive.... In the end I told Kemp not to buy...

Today he went out with his parents. In the end, he got his parents to buy the shoes... I was so angry at him. Scolded him. Threatened not to give him dinner. Kept scolding him. Until he apologise. Until he was sorry.

The shoes was too expensive to be bought. And I ever told him before not to get his parents to buy anything for him as they didn't earn a lot.. But he was not able to do it. He had planned to get his parents to buy after I didn't buy for him...

Scolded him. Punished him. Didn't allow him to watch t v in the afternoon for the next 5 days. Didn't allow him to eat ice cream for the next 2 weeks. Didn't allow him to switch on the air-conditioning until 8 in the night.

I needed to let him know how expensive the shoes was... It could pay for his meals for a month. Could pay the electricity bill for a month. I just needed to punish him......

我爱五月天！

第23届金曲奖！

Managed to catch this show on SCV this morning! Yeah!

I hope it's not another sleepless night.
Too many things on my mind already.. I can't take more.

Really hot!

Hot and sunny. Went out at 10 plus and came back at 3 plus. Sweating like hell.

Really hard on my dad... who has to do delivery out in the hot sun everyday...

:-(

Sad. Elmo has started her block leave. I will be alone for the next two weeks. Sad that she can't spend the last days at our old workstations together with me...

Accompanied her pack her stuff till 9 plus yesterday.. Reached home at 10 plus... Surprisingly I wasn't really tired... But Louise felt my pulse when I went to see her in the afternoon and she said that I was really tired and lack of sleep...

I also want a holiday...... I need a holiday.

Posted many entries within these days.
最近好多话讲。。。

经常 check Facebook.
看到别人，不是怀孕就是小孩的照片，要不然就是 check in at airport.

我羡慕那些。。。 check in at airport 的。
我想我知道我要的是什么。

好想花钱，不过这个月得花好多钱。。。
被约束的感觉。。。

Being needed

Being needed = you have to make all decisions. Being needed = the outing will be cancelled if you are not going = you have to feel guilty if you decide not to go Co's the outing will be cancelled.

So if you don't want to feel guilty = you have to force yourself to go=you are unhappy.

Being needed is so tiring.
Please take over my place.....

I want to travel.
I hope to go Taiwan at the end of this year...

A week of quarrels, arguments, lack of miscommunication, misunderstanding.

Quarrelled Co's I didn't get updates from him when he was outside.

Misunderstood him. Thought he didn't update me again but in fact he is busy working.

I am impatient. Most of the times expecting people to immediately understand me when I say somethings. When I get frustrated I don't bother to explain.

Is he worried that I am unhappy? Or he is unhappy that I don't sound as happy or excited when I talk to him now as compared to in the past? Need clarifications....

Went to watch Madagascar 3 with Kemp and Mum. Went Jcube . It was my second time watching...

I bought a dress! At 39 bucks! Very happy Co's I think got myself a cheap deal... Haha.

Nowadays I find myself happy whenever I get cheap deals or free food... Haha... 30 years old Auntie...

Wanted to rest at home today. But Kemp complained of boredom. And so.... Took them out for a movie at Jcube.

Tired. Tired. Tired.
I want to be selfish.... super selfish.

I promise

I promise never to throw tantrums at you again, never to ignore you No matter how tired or unwell I am, never to scold you again, to talk to you in a nice manner, to treat you very well, to show you that everybody loves you very much, to give you whatever you want... So that you will be happy even though you are not the same as other kids.

I promise.

Kemp has grown up

He's been good. Trying very hard to control his reading, his diet. Listening to us when he wants to eat. It should be good news until today he asked us this question: 我的糖尿病几时会好？

Suddenly I dunno how to answer his question... I felt very upset. Maybe he's trying so hard now is Co's he had hopes that he will be cured? How to tell him that it's permanent?

My heart hurts....

I can only make up to him in other ways.
There's a reason Why you are born in this family. You will have me to dote on you, with all my heart and soul. I will make sure you are not worst off than other kids.... My boy, Please be strong.

Tired of work

Too much work. Too stressed. Sometimes dunno where to start.. Getting tired of the work....

Today after work was packing with Elmo. We had to clear the metal cupboard behind us. Actually the stuff inside wasn't even ours... But somehow we had to clear it as it was near us...

Our boss wants us to work together as a team... Help out each other when load gets too heavy... So that overall things get done.

I hope... That we do get help when we need help...

Panadol

I used to take it very frequently during my secondary school days. Then I quit it long time ago... Even refused to take it when I had headaches....

Recently I'm back to it again... Start to take it one day when I had very bad headache. And now when I'm sick, I took it again.. I think about 2 to 3 times.

I'm back to the drug :-(

It was hot the whole day at home. Can never understand how hot they felt at home previously.. I am always in office, an air-conditioning space the whole day. I was only worried about the electricity bill... But I guess their comfort is most important...

Medical Leave

Didn't go work today. But I got calls from office early in the morning... And my phone was never out of my sight the whole day.

Maybe she had not got used to covering me bah..

Tired. Slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. Scared that I can't sleep at night. :-(

I am tired of work.... Need a break desperately.

Weekends mean nothing to me.... As I will still be working...

Tired real tired...

Superwoman

I felt like Superwoman today. As I was down with cold yesterday and couldn't sleep at night Co's I din on the air-conditioning.. But I could still go work today.. And finished my report and the stuff I needed to finish..

But my cold came back in the afternoon... Feeling worse... Went to see doc finally and got mc for tomorrow.

So... I am not Superwoman after all.

Sick

Finally sick. Down with terrible cold. Feverish running nose heaty.

I need to rest.. But I got so much work to do.. How to take medical leave..?

我不能再要求了。
我要学着放开，看开点。让大家好过一点。

Wanted to leave office at 6 but ended up leaving at 7.

Was tired in the day.. but somehow feels not so tired now.. scared.. worried that I can't sleep again tonight...

I like this...

睡不着。我讨厌这两种感觉。。。

被遗忘的感觉

Tired

9 June 2012 Saturday

Crossed Immigration 2 times in a day. First time at the Second Link. Second time at the First Link.

What a day.... I never want to go to the Second Link without proper transport again.....

"You don't know that don't have to send the originals to them anymore? And you are still sending? No wonder you can't finish your work... "

I didn't only got bullied... I got suan as well...

"_"

Bullied

I shouldn't be doing it right...? After all it's cases that I have passed to another person... So Why am I doing it ? Don't understand...

Am I taken advantage of? Haiz... young people are smart these days... I am not able to catch on the smartness of them....

Menses pain. Unlucky thing is I got to cover work today... No leave No medical leave.

How am I going to sleep tonight....?

I should have insisted on meeting today... I should have...

My weekend

Weekends always pass fast...
I only managed to finish part of my report...
And it's Monday tomorrow...

What does he want to say to me?
Actually I only have 1 question for him. Does he blame me for that incident?

5 June.

Just a short SMS conversation. And I felt it all over again.. It felt as though there isn't any slight bit of understanding between us...

Prepared to talk to him... Or maybe not...
I am not sure....

He is back. And looks like he can't come back as freely in future... I will meet him.

Yesterday. Laksa for lunch. Bubble milk tea for tea break. Stomach bloated at night....

Another sleepless night