monday. dun feel like monday. i feel tired today. maybe because i was helping to clean the house yesterday. bought a queen size bed for my parents. will be delivering it this saturday, so had to clear my parents' room over the weekends.


somehow, someday, i hope you will appear infront of me suddenly.
"surprise, i am back!"

having a little regrets now...........

weekends are here again. been pretty busy at work. my work, never seem to finish.. hahaha.. but somehow being busy is better than being free.

nowadays i dread weekends.. cos i dunno what to do.. go out have fun? stay home and listen to the dreaded noise at home? sian.. i miss work suddenly.. is it a hint for me to pick up more challenging work so that i will be more busy at work? hahaha.. well, everything happens for a reason.

i feel like sending things over. but i am hesitant abt it.
they are looking forward to the trip. but i am not. partly because i scared i will be a burden to them.

lc told me abt kh.

i never thought that she feels that kh looks at her in such a way.

i mean.. i never sensed that before until she told me herself. maybe i too insensitive liao, never sensed that even after so many conversations together.

but that feeling is too strong and too hurting liao.

but girl.. no matter how u feel how others look at U, what matters is urself, what U want to do and achieve.

if u are interested in our work, u must try to grab the opportunity for urself.

in terms of support, u can be sure of the support that me and the others will give u.

we can never be sure of the outcome for everything. whether or not it turns out to be success or failure, we dunno.

but what is the most important is that U have tried and given ur best efforts. if after all that, it turns out to be not successful, at least U can answer to urself that U have given it all ur best.

有梦想就去追，有梦想要努力。
但努力不代表就会成功，而是努力的过程就是成功
- 五月天

woo.. the past entire week.. i keep feeling nausea before or after lunch...
sian.. and i feel errie about it...
think i shld go pray...

friday. went for golf (2nd lesson).. well, desmond is really a good coach.. taught me abt the posture and everything.. hmm, not bad, i think quite a big improvement from the 1st time.. hahaha... and i am getting addicted! hahaha..

and yah.. before that, lc and me were at my hse, waiting for ys to pick us up..
i went online and saw chris. he msn me again, ask me to wish him good luck for his exam the next day.. asked if he could call me and i told him my colleague is with me...

saturday. woke up at 12pm plus.
he sms me.. "socks my exam never write finish".........
dun call me socks, u are not in any position...
and... i din reply him... think i am just going to act blur..

sick.... of him.

i told yp.. i feel moody... partly is because of him.
she asked, if he has thought of reconcile, what is my stand?
i say dunno..
i only know.. if now de him is the same as 2 years ago, then absolutely no chance of getting back together... because what i need now is someone who really knows how to take care of him and not as short tempered as him.

but anyway... we may all be thinking too much.

monday. went back to office. they talked about the teambuilding event on sat.

well.. i think i missed out lots. and i am having regrets about not going. :-(
but there is nothing i can do already....

one of my goals in life.. is not to have any more regrets.. and this adds to my regrets list... haiz...

am i having lots of excuses for myself? i got lots of excuses.. this lah, that lah.. for myself lah, for others lah...

getting more and more 婆妈 these days.. cant seem to make up my mind these days...

getting old liao lor..................................

sunday. played mahjong with ck kitty and yp.
ck was late! and damn exaggerating.. he was still sleeping when we called him...

went ktv at jurong east thereafter. but din end up too late. reached home before 11pm.

i sms him.. finally i know why i have not rec his email.. hahaha.. he thought he replied me but actually he has not.. so there he is wondering why i have not replied.. and here i am wondering why he has not replied.. hahahaha!

and yes.. chris msn me again in the afternoon.. saying that he wanted to meet me for coffee... for what? haiz...

i dun like him entering my life again... but i cannot bear to ignore him...
but if he's messing up my life again, i think i should and i ought to keep him out..........

saturday night. went jurong point for dinner with sis mum and ah boy. went to courts to try out the mattress. not bad, will buy that for my parents..

i reached home. chris msn me. says he's moody and that he feels stupid. "what happened" i ask him. no replies.. for a long time. this guy, really bo liao i thought.

my phone rang. new number. it was him. we chatted for half an hour.

he said he was stressed over school (well, classes have not started..). he told me abt his recent breakup. the girl wanted to go london for 2 yrs and he's not willing to go with her. he said he was doing well in spore. his weight is still around 80kg plus. he's still meeting steven. he's still doing illegal stuff.

yah.. thats about it.

sick right? appearing again. hahaha.. but then again, i can dun talk to him if i want to...

saturday. the day is especially sunny today.
they are at bintan now. teambuilding event.

and i am not there.. hahaha really spoilsport hor?

i finally sms him today. he's not busy. but yet...
passing cloud.. passing cloud... are you one?

my face got the red patch again.. sian.. again???
either stomach giving me problems.. or pain here pain there.. or hair giving me problems.. or my skin giving me problems.. haiz.. so 烦喔。。

sometimes.. really tired of living..
does it sound like depression? hahaha..

it is madness to hate all roses because you got scratched with one thorn, to give up your dreams because one did not come true, to lose faith in prayers because one was not answered, to give up on your efforts because one of them failed, to condemn all your friends because one betrayed you, not to believe in love because someone was unfaithful or did not love you back, to throw away all your chances to be happy because you did not succeed on the first attempt.


aren't you sick of hearing me sick everytime?
im sick.. and im sick of hearing that..

still sick.

my parents quarrelled again. over a small thing. again again again.

my mum's back aching this time. thats the reason why her mood not good.

me.. not in a very good state these days... sigh.

mc for thurs afternoon and friday.

saw a doctor. she says its virus attack stomach, thus the nausea feeling cos of too much 胃酸 and too much wind in my stomach.

its either ppl around me are sick or virus in the air that causes it.

anw eaten the medicine.. but dunno which medicine made me drowsy. eat already, feels like sleeping.. very drowsy..

haiz.. my stomach's throwing temper recently.. getting hungry easily these days..

and when it gets hungry, i better eat if not the feeling is very 辛苦。。 feel nausea lor..

sian right?

but but.. i am considered fortunate liao.......