Whenever i see his missed calls, his emails, the only things that come to my mind is our differences, our problems. I'll be unhappy. I don't know how to talk to him like before.

When i hear no news from him, at least i don't think of the problems, unhappy things. I'm at least happier. I know this is called deceiving myself, i can ignore the problem when i dont get reminded. This is also called avoidance.

I know he loves me dearly. I feel like telling myself to cherish this very guy by my side.. But clearly, there are differences between us and there isn't any good solutions i can think of.. I also can't promise him anymore that i can indefinitely wait for him.

I'm now in a denial stage thinking that "out of sight, out of mind". Thinking that our problems dont exists as long as i dun "see" him....

I really dunno wat to do....

I admit i'm avoiding... And selfish in some sense... Sorry.