Causeway Link Bus

Saw the people squeezing up the Causeway Link Bus, until it was fully full.  

They really want to reach home... early. 

家在新加坡的我，这几天都在外面游荡游荡。。不到 8 点都不回家的我。。怎么了。

放工直接回家的我，不见了。

家，我累了。 不想回家面对压力的事，失望的事。

Its not what happens to you that determines your happiness, its your attitude that does.

Bad start to my long weekend yesterday. 

Started screaming and losing my temper.  In the end, I went swimming alone.  Walked around alone.  Took a bus ride all the way to Vivo and back.  Just to spend a day out.  The bus was cold, yesterday was raining.  

In the end, I came back with a fever. 

I changed to my 3rd set of aligner yesterday night.  Not too bad, just tight. 

Today.  I could eat rice and noodles. No need to eat porridge the whole day.  Biting will still be painful but I just have to bite slowly.... 

These days have been stressful.  I keep losing temper over small things.  I feel upset.  I feel that I am not able to control things well.  I feel tired, feel burdened.  So many things to worry about yet so little of myself. I dont feel happy but the only person who can cheer up me is myself. 

Contradicting. I do read things that are enlightening.  Yes, it does makes me enlightened for a while but somehow it doesnt lasts long.  Problematic. 

简单生活

简单的我。 想要的生活其实真的很简单。

小小的屋子。 可以搭公共交通。 可以吃小贩中心。 不需要做太高的职位。 有份工作，每个月能吃能省， 就够了。

平淡的生活。 就够了。

可是这样的生活，好像很难。

想要简简单单过个长周末，好像也办不到。

我的人生，为什么要这么复杂。

Good Friday Holiday

Long weekend this week.  I took leave today so I had a longer weekend. 

Today is Kemp annual medical checkup.  Woke up early and reached KK at 9am.  Left KK about 2pm.  Long morning.  Kemp had to see doctor, diabetes nurse and dietician.  Conclusion was he has to lose/maintain his weight.  

Brought my parents to watch movie.  Fast and Furious 8.  Something my Dad likes.  Then dinner at Bedok.  Finally reached home at 9pm plus.  

Sigh.  Have to take care of Kemp attitude, behaviour, upbringing, thinking, studies, health and now weight.  Makes me so tired, especially I am alone and there is no one to help me or even lend a helping ear. 

If I ever have the chance to get attached, one thing for sure, I dont think I will have kids.  Its too big of a responsibility and I am going through it now.... And I dont think I want to go through another one. 

I am feeling so tired and helpless these days.  I dont have a choice for Kemp.  I cannot throw him back to his Mum.  I just have to keep going on.  No matter how tired I feel, I cannot run away from being responsible for him. 

Sorry Yp for putting her on aeroplane for the Korean class.  Hope she doesnt stay angry for long.  

我

心有多大，快乐就有多少。

My Journey

Changed to my 2nd set yesterday.  

The feeling of tightness.  

Felt the pain this morning when I took out for breakfast.  Cannot bite.. Lunch was porridge.  

Hate this feeling...