If I remember correctly, this year should be my 19th year with the company, with the same team at the same rank for probably more than 5 years. 

Rank wise - it may be suffocating to know that I am still at the same rank for so many years.  But to be fair, it is not that the team is not willing to give me chances to develop but I have tried and failed the only way to go up the ranks.

I guess it is both admirable and disgusting to stay at a place for so long.  

I do question myself why I lack the courage to venture out to other places but really, is it wrong to be contented and okay with the routine?  

I question myself when people question me and that is where I lose my confidence.  My self confidence.  Things that I think is normal is deemed to be abnormal by other people.