Feel down.. very down. Feeling inferior

Feel down today.  M. came early this month.  Supposed to go Shalley house today for gathering but didnt go.  Saw photos of them - her house looks nice, they look good.  

Envious. All my around-my-age friends all seems to have some sort of achievements - family, kids, career, money. 

But here I am, still staying with my family, still single, still fighting with hairloss, pimples, poor health, stressed with job role, anxious with money, worrying about everything and anything.  Life feels the same and sometimes even worse. 

I know I shouldnt say or feel this.  I know there are people worse off.  比上不足，比下有余。I know there are things I ought to be feeling thankful for… 

But still, Tired of everything.  

Spending money recently.. after a long period of 省钱 mode.  I see my credit card bill - I got a shock… 不知不觉…