an idea struck me suddenly. i had 7 days of leave to clear for this year. thinking of what to do.. i looked at my calendar and hey, i could take from 16 dec to 27 dec.. exactly 7 days and i could spend his birthday and christmas with him!

i told my lc abt it. went home happily. in the hope of telling him so that we can be happy together! and something to look forward to..!

we chatted at night. played games! yeah.. im improving in my sudoku! thanks to him that i learned how to play the intermediate stage.

told him abt the leave in dec.. he told me he will not be free in dec. cos his sister will bring her in-laws to thailand and he would have to bring them along..

at first, my thinking was.. hey, then can i join? then he could then bring us all around together. he said can. but he followed by, not having enough rooms in his hse, and not feeling safe abt leaving me alone in hotel and it would be difficult for him to travel to and fro if he were to stay with me in the hotel.

then my thinking was.. then can i come say during the first 2 weeks of dec whilst his sister comes during the last 2 weeks? but he told me he would be having exams.. i was quite surprised actually. i thought his exams was in nov?

i was disappointed.. really. super disappointed. i was still thinking, how good will that be if i could spend dec with him.. but.. things just din went the way i wanted..

and i wanted badly my way.. i really wanted badly.
i asked him further.. could i join his sister and her in-laws? he sounded reluctant.. i really couldnt understand why he was reluctant at that moment. he gave me alot of reasons.

it was getting late. and so, we ended the conversation.

i switched off my laptop. got to the bed. but i couldnt sleep. i was upset, disappointed.. more of disappointed. i thought of alot of things.

e more i think, e more i thought that maybe ultimately, it just boils down to 1 reason, that is, he dun wan to bring me home. thats why he's reluctant to let me join his sister and her in-laws.