leaving bkk today. woke up late. refused to wake up. refused to pack my bag. refused to leave him...

but.. we dun have a choice.
packed our stuff. wanted to go big c to buy some stuff and to his hse to pick up a CD for his sister and to have lunch with his mum. but we woke up late. no lunch with his mommy.

we had lunch. went big c to get some stuff.
and we were on our way to the airport.

i really couldnt bear to leave him. i couldnt control my tears. how i wish i could stay. how i wish i can stay by his side.

on e way to airport, i wanted to stop by other branches of big c to buy the sausages. but he was afraid i will be late. i wasn't afraid. i was happy when i saw traffic jam. but the traffic jams din last.

how i wish i can be late and miss the flight.. or better still, cannot go back singapore and blah.

anw.. what stupid thinking i had.
we still reached airport. checked in. waited to clear passport, clear hand-carry stuff and me off back home.

i really couldnt bear.
i think, he too, couldnt bear to see me leave. i sort of sensed that.

i was again the last passenger. the gate was closed, as shown on the screen. but i din run to the gate. i jus walked fast.

he kept saying we have a future. do we really have a future?
i feel insecure when he's not by my side.