Yeay!

Yeay... Thanks to my friend... I can watch mayday concert! And with him.... !!

Yeay..!

yeay!

yeay! i got the chalet at resort downtown east!
yippee!! i am so happy!!

=)

谢谢他

谢谢他为我做的每一件事。

谢谢他接受我的不完美。

谢谢他包容我的固执，我的性格。

2 days. without his voice.
no calls. no skype. he din initiate.... and i din too.

so is it good? i dunno.. i feel very sian.

I love yoga!

Really love the yoga classes every sat..
The stretching, the panting, the muscle pain, and the breathing of fresh air in the morning...
=)

I miss the Central World....

=(
Burnt.. Gonna be demolished... How can such a big building be burnt until like that...
One of my favourite places in BKK... Now my memories of it are only the movies tickets....

Tired...

Another night..

I really need sleep.. Really need to rest.

I bit my mouth again today while chewing food. Been getting that often when i dun sleep enough. Signs of heatiness...

Conflicts + unhappiness + =(

Its another day... Tiring day. Headache.

"Want to remove a habit of friendliness from me.. From a 100% to 0%.... Can't we settle somewhere in between? Maybe jus 10% or 5%.....
Like cannot be too friendly.... Not beyond 5 replies? No innitiating... Unless work related? Or neccessary?"

"Machines.. Automation... They r programmed to do the exact things u asked them to do... They still produced rejects n defects.... I m a human... Human error margin is higher.... So u expect 0% no error... Is simply asking for impossible.... I can only try my very best to prevent mistakes.... "

Its gonna be never ending..

没那么简单

沒 那麼簡單
就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在
看過了那麼多的 背叛
總是不安
只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的 浪漫

沒 那麼簡單
就能去愛 別的全不看
變的實際
也許好 也許壞 各一半
不愛孤單
一久 也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂 就忙東忙西
感覺累了 就放空自己
別人說的話
隨便聽一聽
自己做決定

不想擁有太多 情緒
一杯紅酒 配電影
在週末晚上 關上了手機
舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易
每個人有他的 脾氣
過了 愛作夢的年紀
轟轟烈烈 不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易
才會特別讓人 著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經 最掏心
所以 最開心

曾經

二人同行

勇气带加上宽容
在加无止境溜光的等候
以为这些付出等于美好结果
你却说凭什么

我相信你爱护我
只是爱没有想像中的多
对天空的辽阔来说云算什么
你不会懂我渺小得多宽容

* 爱你不重我要自己不要放开手
不痛不痛 心却独自跳的好寂寞
幸福那个一个美梦 是二人同行才有
你渐渐缺席让我悲叹在未来的入口

# 爱你不重尽管我无力再向前走
不痛不痛 就算辛苦得震耳欲聋
爱你我爱到最后 剩回忆这个朋友
爱情从二人同行变成我一个 默默后承受

我想过很多以后 幻想过快乐也愉悦心痛
爱就像是偏执的风 改雾悬空
只问前进忘了要怎么降落

(Repeat * # * ）

爱你不重
不痛不痛 就算辛苦得震耳欲聋
爱你我爱到最后 剩回忆这个朋友
爱情从二人同行变成我一个 默默后承受

I thought of going Prive for our anniversary... A place tat he has been to and says its nice and romantic..
I want to go too.....
=)

things that he used to do in the past.. but now he dun.. or seldom do.

used to explain to me things i dunno...

used to call me very often.. when he's on his way back home, when he's buying food or stuff..

used to ask for video chat..

used to say miss me and ask for video chat when he doesnt see for me for a day or two..

and now.. after a few days of not seeing me.. i dun see any video requests..
=(

***

i really thought he would message me when he finished his exams yesterday.. i waited, from 9.. to 9.15.. then 9.30.. then 9.45.. the finally 10pm.. but yet no news..

called him.. he was eating dinner and that he was going home in a while.. he said he rushed to eat, rushed to go home immediately.. is it for me? or is it because he needed his sleep.....

anw.. something big happened yest.. i called him at 10+.. i guessed he was driving home and i told myself that i had to call him, to talk to him, to keep him awake when he was driving..
and so, i called.. but nobody picked up... i called almost 20+ times.. the phone kept ringing but nobody picked up...

i was getting worried.. thought of all the possible things.. including the bad things.. i was so scared.. before that, the news was showing shootouts in bangkok.. =( and so i was thinking and thinking.. the more i thought, the more i became scared..

finally he picked up... i scolded him.. i was really worried. i kept scolding him.. until he broke down.. and he scolded me back... and then it was silence.


i suddenly thought.. would he flare at me again in future if he had done something wrong.. i kept thinking.....

Congrats to him.. He has finally finished his exams.. He can finally haf a good rest...

To share with me his happiness, his sorrows... Is it an expectation?

Shouldn't it be a normal / natural reaction to share one's happiness and sorrows with someone he/she loves?

Unless im not the one he loves.....
And so, his friends are his natural choice...

我无法了解。。

I din sleep last night... Cried the whole of last night... My eyes are swollen.

To me, going to school means seeing and interacting with his friends...

And he chose friends over me yesterday, when he finish the bulk of his papers.. Thats how i guage my importance... Thats what making me heartache.

I really cant understand him.. Cant understand his thinking, jus like he'll never understand my thinking.

他总是有好多人陪他。。她却总是一个人。

she waited anxiously for today de 9pm. thats when he will finish his papers. at the least the bulk of it. she thought he will rush home for her, to share with her the happiness, to share with her the relaxation. she called him, to get disappointment.

and so.. actually, she is the last on his list. And so, she's not the first one he'll go to when he's happy... Its still his friends and friends whom he sees everyday... Whom he spends 80% of his time with.......

She cant stop crying.. She cant sleep.

She feels unimportant... Feels unloved... Again.

My colleague.. Tdy told me that her bf threaten to break up with her if she continued to control him...

Suddenly.... I thought of myself... Would this happen to me also....... ?

His exams start today... Good luck dear...

Brought my parents and boy to the movies today.. Ip man 2! Quite good..

But i am having a headache now.. Lousy me. =(

Its been a long and busy day today.. Yawns.. Tired even though i slept early yesterday.. And im wondering why i am tired...

Finally the weekends are here.. I can rest again. This week feels long. As though i have waited long for friday to reach...

Yeah! I booked the air tickets for him le.. Yippee!! He's coming back on 11 jun till 23 jun..

Though its not very long.. But i think it was hard to get this 12 days.. I guess HE'S teaching us to be less greedy, more patient and learn to cherish......

And.. I tried to book the dbs chalets.. Hopefully i get it. Really miss scrubbing his back...

Oh yeah.. Today again.. There was Hdb alert.. BTO flats at boon lay grove.. I had wanted west area and here i got it.. Although after calculations, i think its gonna be quite hard for me to finance alone.. But i think im still gonna give it a try.. Lets see what fate has for us..

=)

He finally asked his mum abt his coming back.. He asked for 3 weeks.. His mum said it was too long.
He's upset....

Im disappointed too. I had wanted longer.. But i know it wasnt quite possible. To avoid disappointment again, i had prepared myself for the worst. His mum had said that she needs him to help with work... Oh, i expected that.. Ever since the last time, i realised that she could have lots of reasons... Would it be surprising if she backed out Last minute saying tickets are expensive... I guess not.

I am not bad mouthing her.. But jus wondering whats in her mind.. And i dunno what kind of person she is.. From the way she do things. From her actions.. I dunno what kind of person she is... Hmm...

Anw.. Until the tickets are booked, i better not have any expectations... To avoid being angry, disappointed, which in turn will affect him also.

He told me.. Aunt doris asked if im interested to work for her in her cafe.

Im glad.. Im happy.. She understands our situation and that how much we want to see each other everyday.. I guess thats why she offered.

As much as i want to grab this opportunity.. But its kind of hard. Elmo says to think for myself more. But is it really as simple as jus thinking for myself and decide myself? Or did i complicate things again? To go over, i have to quit my job, lose my current income, earn a small income but with all the same Amount of expenses... How is my p/l statement gonna work out for me...?

Anw.. In what position am i going over as? Is my dad gonna feel comfortable with that? No name, no status.. I guess my dad will feel unfair for me.

Anw.. What i dun wan now is to give aunt doris the wrong impression of me. Its not tat im not willing to work for her, neither do i mind tough jobs.. Its jus that i haf to think abt e income i earn cos im not jus supporting myself..

In any case, im grateful to her. For offering me. For being understanding and nice.

my weekends are spent cleaning my room.. because my new bed is coming tomorrow!

i still remember my intention of buying the bed.. and i thought of what happened this week. i thought of what i thought through and whether or not if that is what i want.. what i want in future.

he is definitely the guy for me. the happiness and times i had with him is one of a kind. the pain i go through is.. also one of a kind. i have never experienced such happiness before, neither do i experience such pain before.

i cannot answer you if its good or bad.

i really wanted to come to terms with myself, to reach a compromise with him, and not to quarrel with him.
and i am trying very very hard.....