finally the weekends are here!
i can finally get to rest and wake up late in the morning..
have been working full 5-day week since i came back on monday early morning, and so, that explains my tiredness.

rest rest rest.. i need plenty of rest.

he's starting sch on national day.. i hope we wont quarrel that much after he starts sch. but i know by then, he's gonna be busy busy and more busy. and so, its time for me to find things to occupy myself..

yoga, thai classes, here i come!

dinner and ktv with shalley and gang. our usual meetup..

we met at chinatown.. ate zi char for dinner, bbq chicken wings, ngoh hiang, curry fishhead, fried kailan and sweet and sour pork..

shalley couldnt join us last minute.. she said her niece was found cutting her own hair.. she says its depression and she needs to talk to her niece..

jp bought a resale flat at teban gardens.. finally, a home of their own. getting the keys in sept, in fact on his birthday! and they have to renovate thereafter.. he says its money money and more money out of his pocket.. hahaha..

oh.. and i suspect jp's wife is pregnant! im not sure.. but when i reached, they were looking at kids' clothes.. so hmm... it might be a maybe.. but he din mention thereafter.. maybe it is early? we will see... he will tell us when the time is ripe =)

andrew has tendered his resignation.. last day would be end aug. he's intending to build up his health first before starting another new job.. he's been weak recently.. and all the checkups say he's fine.. so dunno whats wrong.. hmm..

gaius.. as usual, was the full of nonsense guy.. and he's into a counselling job right now.. well, we really cannot judge a person by its looks.

ktv at a ten-dollar family club.. and its really $10 per person only!
sang sang sang.. but we were tired towards the end.. super tired and sleepy.

and so.. i slept at 2 plus.

finally. i have time to update my blog..

been busy at work these few days after i came back from BKK.. covering colleague. super busy. until my documents are piling up fast.. and the worst thing is the credit files and operational files are out of stock.. and so, i have documents, but no files to file into.. SIGH.

***

and i am back from BKK.. well, i went on 16 jul, supposed to come back on 20 jul.. but then somehow, i missed my flight on 20 jul and decided to extend my holidays till 25 jul.. unexpected extended holidays!!

and.. the best thing is.. i flew on SQ when i came back on 25 jul!! it was my first time on SQ, a big carrier. woooo.. nice experience!! and time passes real fast, when u have food to eat and a screen infront of you to watch tv and play games.. hahahaha!!

we went shopping, praying, bowling, playing arcade, playing air gun, watching movies and of course, lots of eating!!! and this time, we went for low budget food.. which was all very nice and yummy..

missed the beef noodle, fishball noodles, yong tau fu noodles.. the fishcake, the kfc whipped potato.. and alot more...

oh ya.. on one of the days, i also prepared breakfast for him! ham and egg sandwich! i dunno if he felt the sandwich was nice. all i know was that i enjoyed the preparation.. hahaha! the feeling was so nice...

and.. he handmade a bling bling cover for my iphone! one and only iphone cover! nobody else would have the same one as me... hahahah!!
hmm... i would definitely use it, provided i am still using my iphone... hahahaha...

my next trip would be in sep.. wanted to go over again in aug, making use of the national day holiday... but then, the air tickets were expensive, and so, we gave up the idea... but, we are planning to go holidaying in dec.. yeay!!

planning for the dec holidays.. makes me real excited.
looking at the websites, the hotels, the surroundings of the place we are planning to go.. makes me happy... hahaha =)

很想说有你是幸福的。。

I am flying in a few days..

Yet the feeling is different.. Dunno how to explain but just different...

I think our conflicts are getting more and more and bigger and bigger.... Im really afraid of next month, when he starts school again...

Im really scared that i may not be able to hold it any longer.... I may jus explode in anger, frustration and whatever negative emotions you can think of....

=(

Went to 姑妈's hse.. My cousin came back from US and she organised a gathering..

I thought it would be a slacking day.. But in the end, i was dragged to play mahjong with my cousin and auntie... As they were short of 1 leg.. And so, without any choices or early notice, i got to play mahjong..

I ended up losing money and super hungry and a terrible headache....

Not as slack as i thought it would be... It ended up being very stressed and tired.... As they had played quite big.... And losing my lunch allowance for the week....

Long time since i touched mahjong.. A year i guess... Something i used to do every week... Now i dread it...

Did something tat i've never done before.. Bought a test kit... As i was getting nervous anxious over it.. Decided to test once and for all and end my misery...

And so i tested in the afternoon when everyone was having their nap...

Guess what happened? I was super nervous.. My heart was beating damn fast... Tat feeling was indescribeable... In the end, i got an invalid result... Either the test kit was spoilt or i did it incorrectly....

Wasted my money.. Wasted my efforts...

I hate S and F.....
:(
But... Do i have a choice?

Tdy i saw an old man at the control station, topping up his farecard...

At that moment, upon seeing him, i felt that he was alone and lonely.. I felt so upset and i wondered why aren't the children topping up his farecard for him?? My heart just ached for him.....

I dun wan my parents to be old and lonely...........

如果他爱我，他会来找我。

Anw.. He hanged up on me yest.. And asked me to stop bugging him.

I had a dream last night.. Dreamt that i was living in thailand and one day we quarelled... Had a bad quarrel, and i felt lonely as i was alone.. Nobody to turn to.. And i could only come back to spore alone.

I woke up suddenly... It was a nightmare..

stomach acting up... no appetite for lunch and dinner...
i am feeling terrible...
=(

I saw it...

If he's not doing it, that means he dun love me enough.. Wats the point of being with someone who dun loves me enough?

He rather protect them than to bother abt my feelings... I really cannot stand my bf being such a popular guy with the opposite sex.. I cannot understand the difficulty... Jus a right click n thats it. How difficult is that?

Really... Such a small test and i finally know how important i am to him....

Stop crying!!!!! Stupid!!!!! Wats the point of crying over someone who dun love u enough?????!!!!!!!

Afternoon

No morning calls. No calls. No news..

Lunchtime. I haf no appetite...

And i am waiting again... For a sms, a call.... But nothing nothing...

我们又吵架了。。

Quarrelled again... Im tired of his reasons, excuses he has given all this while.

I wan to insist this time.. Although he always say he's willing, but i dunno if he's really willing or jus trying to sweet talk me...

Im tired of his no-choice situations..

If he cant do such a small thing that i've requested... Then seriously, does he love me enough?

He thinks so much for them.. Abt how they'll think and blah... Then wat about me? Are the reasons he given me the real reasons or jus excuses?

I may be too much, possessive, controlling... Whatever you may say me.. But the things i've done for him, i feel i've been very nice already... I am not taking him for granted and asking for too much as what he said....

He's good at talking... Very often i cannot outtalk him... I know he has given up alot for me, am i not doing the same?

He shld know... My main problems.. Jealous easily and feels insecure easily... I rem he say he will help me through n will do everything to make me feel secure... Is it really so difficult to do the things i've requested...?

Its been something i wan him to do... But never really dared to say it out... So this time, i finally said it out and at the same time, i finally see his reaction.... .....

Bad day =(

My lunch kakis are going gym during lunch everyday....
And i am bored during lunchtime...

I am bored during weekends... No going out and nobody's entertaining me during the day....

And i have stomach attacks... Jealousy attacks... And i haf to bear with the lonely days... And no-choice situations....

And according to him, i haf a choice to be angry or not, to be pissed off or not... To make my day or not...

Is there a guy who wont give me jealousy attacks and will make my day?

Im tired.. Im feeling damn sick..

all i do is wait and wait and wait....

and i ain't left with any choices...

thats the kind of life i am leading now....

Escape theme park!

Went escape with boy and parents tdy... Yeay!!

Left hse at abt 1 plus.. Went toa payoh for lunch.. Ate yummy fish soup..

Then we were on our way to escape! We played a mini rollar coaster.. Wah, probably its been long time since i went on a rollar coaster, i was feeling scared and stunned thereafter... Lol..

then we went on ferris wheel... and dad brought boy karting.. boy was stunned at first.. but i think he liked it! hahaha...

and then we went karting again.. this time, dad with boy and me with mum.. i was nervous actually... cos i went karting before and i was frightened by it, in the end, i went for 1 round instead of 3 rounds.... and so i was nervous this time...

but thereafter, i felt great.. im glad it was a pretty okay experience.. hope my mum wasnt disappointed by my driving... hahaha... yeay! i loved the karting most!

and... i din manage to went on viking... =(

He forgets his promises... Be it small things or big things... Forgetful...

And then he'll say... "sorry.... 我不是故意的。。只是忘记。。。