Looking at my loots I brought back from BKK.... I think almost half are implusive buys..... Sighh.... Thats the outcome of long-time-no-crazy-shopping.... Didnt really think when I buy..... Lol... 

The Bag I have always wanted......

I finally bought this at Siam Paragon!! 

Have been looking at this bag since a long long time ago.... Didnt bear to buy in the past.... But when I wanted to buy, it was no longer available in Singapore. 

So I told myself I need to go look at Prada in Bangkok.... And I saw it!!! 

So.... I bought it... Even though it was more expensive than before.... 

This is my most satisfied buy in BKK.... 

Back to reality... Back to my Life.

Going back today... Early afternoon flight... Reaching late evening.... No time for last minute shopping... Just staying in the hotel eating cup noodles for breakfast and leaving at 10am plus..... 

Back to my monotonous life.  

Finally...

My papaya pok-pok and Yum Ma-Ma

Bangkok Trip.. 24 Mar 2016 to 27 Mar 2016

Actually I do really want to meet him.  Even for a short while.  Even for a simple dinner.  But... I guess.... Everything happens for reason.  I am reminded of many things when I am here.... Too many.... 

I am missing the simple foods like fishball noodle, tomyam noodle, papaya salad, mee salad.. Or even the fried cuttlefish... Or even simple street food...... Duh.. 

And yes we are aching like crazy already..... Plus no quality sleep last night.... Super tired...... Zzzzzz.... 

Day 2 at BKK

Morning shopping at Platinum Mall.  

Followed by B-Story Cafe.  Not too bad food.... 

Asiatique for Day 1

Back in BKK today.  After about 3.5 years.... Places change, roads change, people change, feelings change.... 

Me?  Not sure if I have changed after 3.5 years.... But definitely still a shopping queen whenever I travel... 

Food taste change?  Yup... Dont think I can afford spicy and especially sour food these days.... My stomach has definitely aged.  And all the more for my kneecaps and back.... Aching like crazy after a short day's walk..... 

Thank God nothing serious.... I must thank the Gods when I come back.... 

Tmr's the day.  Feeling nervous the last few days because of tmr.  I hope everything will turn out to be fine..... Please..... I am willing to scarifice everything just for tmr's good/not serious results....... 

I am so so looking forward to next week, to the shopping trip.... Long time since I went... To the place where was my second home previously.....  I hope I can leave in peace..... 

Not supposed to feel afraid at work.... Because I am senior and Experienced.  

So I am not supposed to feel afraid.... Not supposed to tell anybody that I am scared.... Sigh. 

I cannot complain and give that scaredy face like those young girls.... Sigh.

I just have to swallow everything into my stomach.  And not let anybody know. 

They say.  When you are troubled but yet not say anything, the people who are concerned about you will be even more heartbroken to see you like that.  I never did realise that.  I only know that I shouldnt bother other people with my troubles. Because its my problems and not theirs... Wrong to do that?  I dont know.... Sigh. 

五月天终于来了！好期待！！

当我想一走了之，什么都不要管的时候，什么事情都需要我。

走不了，离不开。我的人生便是如此而已。

活着对我来说，只是一种对父母的责任。已经没有什么意思了。。

Cried in the bathroom just now.  

Been scolding Kemp ever since this year started.  This year really started bad.  My health went haywire.. My work piled up and got messy.. Emails shooting from everywhere towards me. 

Kids.  Really difficult to teach.  Already hard to teach now that he is in P4.  How to teach when he gets older?  Super defensive.  Talks back.  Refuse to admit mistakes. And worse thing is, dunno if he is lying about certain things. 

And whenever I scold, my dad gives that kind of "can give me peace times or not" look.  Like I shouldnt scold? 

My mum?  Sides with Kemp, tries to stop the arguments when I scold.  But Kemp also dont respect her much?! 

I have to teach Kemp yet I am like the baddy when I scream and shout at him. I am like the one making trouble and noise in the house.  I am the one who is getting crazy and giving nonsense in the house. 

He is not even my kid. I am not even married.  Why am I going through all these shit?!  And his stupid mum?? Didnt even come celebrate his birthday with him! Excuse was they had to stay home to look after Keane!  Stupid excuse!  As if we stayed in Jurong and they stayed in Pasir Ris??  Super irritating! 

My fucking miserable life. I have to take care of my parents, worried when they are sick or pain anywhere, paying attention that they eat and exercise. Worried about my dad when he goes out to work, at his age, still have to do deliveries and endure the sun and rain outside. 

And with all these, still have to help look after Kemp, his studies, his attitude, his glucose readings. 

What the hell. So sick and tired that I dont see any need in staying alive. Reason why I am still alive now is because I still need to take care of my parents.  Once that is not needed anymore, I think I can jolly well be gone too.  

要伤心，难过，生气，也要为值得的人啊。 

为一个不值得你的人伤心，难过，生气，真的是浪费自己的时间，尽力和精神。 

重点，要对得起自己，对自己好一点。