busy busy busy... busy at work... busy with VC.. busy with new business idea..

tired.. but actually i haven been doing much lar...

i keep thinking these days.... what makes me happy? what makes me happy?

does busy makes me happy? does playing mj makes me happy? does working hard and aiming for promotion makes me happy?

what makes me happy? i am not happy now.... i dunno what i am doing now.... its like blindly leading my life lor....

at work, i follow instructions and do my work... submit my stuff on time... that is still okay.....

for VC, i also follow instructions.... they are like thinking of ways to improve here, improve there.... but i am not.... I dunno if im simply not interested or simply lazy to go and think.... always feel tired, no matter how much i sleep.... dunno if plain lazy or health getting worse....

i wan to do something for VC.. really something..... but its like you xing mei li lor...... can't motivate myself.... dun have that "go go go.. jia you" determination anymore.... i used to have that for my studies... where has it gone to?

does making money makes me happy? sigh....

its meant to pass time.... meant to make me forget certain things.... but it is not working.... not working at all...

it gets worse every day... sigh....

i just want to be happy.... exactly what wil make me happy?

when i was with him, i thought of our future.... he wanted me to earn more money.. for his sake, i was willing to change job and get a higher pay once my bond ends...

now? i earn.. work so hard.. for who? myself?

yeah i know it sounds useless... but then.... i dunno lor....

maybe im just creating troubles for myself.... maybe.... maybe.... i also dunno....

if staring into the sky can give me an answer, im willing to do it.... what can i do to get an answer?

can you tell me what will make me happy?