i am happy. ah boy went went for his medical checkup today.
he got an average 3-mths reading of 7.3%! which is good! (the target is between 7 to 7.5)!
the nurse said that i was doing a good job and should continue to do what i am doing now.

hmm.. at least what i am doing now is correct.. *smiles*

*****
i am upset. i am moody.

everytime i see updates abt him from fb.. its always ppl tag him in photos..
i see them.. i get upset.. or maybe jealous.
he's having fun.. and yet, i hear nothing or no updates from him..

email.. sms.. calls... no, not ever a call.
its shocking to some that we dun ever call each other.. i wonder how i do it..

有时候，我真的觉得我在自作多情。。

i really wonder.. wonder if he questions if i am happy or sad here.. wonder if he questions if i am fine and well here.. these are things i think of abt him everyday. i wonder if he ever miss me.

maybe.. out of sight of is out of mind?

i am moody.. maybe PMS.. :(

rem my big bear who was 'retrenched' last year?
we met him for lunch after a long time..

he's a real estate property agent now. apparently, he's trying to get us in.. he feels its good money and its happy feeling to buy, sell and view real estate property and so, he's convincing us to join him.. i mean, not full time but as part time..

he's a very nice guy.. knows alot of things and most importantly, he's never selfish to share his knowledge with us..

well, we have to pay $600+ for a 10-day part time course.. of which $600 will be reimbursed if a target of $6000 is met within 9 months..

well, i've always wanted to take up some courses.. elmo is tempted as well.. so im willing to give it a try.. whether or not the course fee is reimbursed, it doesnt matter to me.. i just want to learn new things..

we'll see how things goes...
:-)

i know.. you'll support me right?

i've always disliked guys who criticise a girl's looks, figures.. who look down on girls who are so-called fat, ugly.. always hated that kind of guys.

imagine.. one day, if my bf were to criticise my looks, figure.. or say that would prefer if i am slimmer, if i put on more makeup, if i put on nice dresses and not dress so sloppy, if i wear heels instead of wearing slippers all the time...

ok, maybe dressing wise, i still can accept it.. if my partner wants me to dress nicely for certain occassions.. fine, that is still acceptable.. but if he were to mind my dressing everytime we go out.. ? hmm....

i think.. i wonder.. i cannot imagine.. i think i may ditch him... unless i really like him so much that i disregard my normal self and change for him...

but then again.. are looks really impt?
i mean.. i dun deny appearance counts.. alot in this practical world.
pretty girls, handsome guys get the best of everything.. but is it really practical? is it really important? does it really counts alot until character and everything else are not taken into account?

is it really fair for your partner to mind your looks, ur figure, ur dressing.. imagine, woman's figure go heywire after giving birth.. then how? even if ur husband give you money to go slimming centre.. fine, if it works out good.. but how if it doesnt work out? then what happens.. she still remains the fat figure and the husband despise her figure and probably says that she doesnt appeal sexually to him...

or what happens if one partner is sick.. and he/she looks sickly.. is the other partner going to despise and not take care of him/she as a duty? well, when i say sick, its not the common flu or what.. maybe some chronic or even terminal illness? then what happens....

some say that.. when your partner criticise you in the hope that you will get better (in terms of looks and figure), they are giving you a chance to change for the better.. if you do not change, it will only give them a reason to stray...

when i heard this, i was like.. pissed off!
i mean, what the hell..
my partner strays and i am the one who is to be blamed for it?? doesnt really make sense right.. is just like u are the one making the mistake and you put the blame on someone or something else..

i thought.. one should be responsible for their own actions? no matter what you do, its your OWN decision and actions and you should be responsible and nobody else can be blamed?

but then again.. life is unfair.
these days, its really hard to find someone who is really true, especially lovers..
its all about good PR skills, good flirting skills, appearance..
for woman, it will be good looks with tons of makeup, for man, well, he would have to be nicely and neatly dressed with probably branded stuff on him..
basically 表面工夫 is very impt..

and so.. everyone looks nice on the outside... nobody really cares what is really inside, whether or not the person is good or not good.

everything is advancing.. but human beings seem to be degrading if they only count on appearance...

感动。

he went online the moment he reached home. just to talk to me. although he was tired.

i can sense that.. he's putting in efforts.. trying his very best.

thanks dear.. :-)

今天的我。。 好开心！
一点blue的感觉都没有！

因为我作晚和他聊天了。。
时间不长，不过我已经很开心了！

yp was looking for a queen-sized bed.. and so, i acc her for shopping!!

went ikea, then to imm.

原来 shop for 双人床的感觉很幸福喔！！哈哈！！

I remember.. Last year, there was this questionnaire that was sent to all staff i guess.. Basically, its to collect information abt how willing the staff is to go overseas and work..

I did the questionnaire.. And i remembered there was this question abt listing our own top 3 choices of countries..

My first choice was.. Thailand.

*****
The first time i heard the 三个字 From you was when i failed my driving... If i could hear that from you again, I dun mind failing it again...

i brought ah boy and my parents to watch movie!
monsters vs aliens!

boy was okay.. he could sit there quietly and watch the movie! haha.. but i was like maid lor, sitting beside him and feeding him biscuits.. LOL
hmm, so next time i can bring them for more movies!!

girls' night hangout!

went for dinner at a western restaurant at taka.
had spaghetti carbonara!! yummy! actually i cannot eat too much of that.. its creamy lahh.. but i was greedy, finished almost three quarters of it? lol..

and then it was salad, bread, grilled chicken... hmm, yummy!!

then we went to chatterbox at meritus mandarin.. a very nice place at the 38th floor. the last time we went was 1.5 years ago, according to my sisters.. hahaha, i couldn't remember..

latte for drinks!.. hmm, had 2 kinds of no-no food tonight.. hmm, think my stomach's going to rebel tmr!! hahaha..

it has a very nice ambience, atmosphere.. good place to relax, to slack.. to chat.

i had a happy night.. thanks!!

bald..

my company was organising a charity event.. asked for volunteers to shave their head bald to raise funds for the children's cancer society..
and so today was the day where the volunteers shaved their heads bald.

i went down to take a look.. actually it was incidental. supposed to go down for a chat but instead bumped into this event.

the whole event was quite touching.. especially at the end, a lady volunteered last minute, asking for a donation of S$20k before she "donated" her hair.

and so.. an auction was in place suddenly. the audience started raising hands, each hand raised was a donation of S$500. to reach the target of S$20k.

with our chairman's donation of S$10k, very soon, the target was met and the lady was on stage, having her hair shaved.

it was touching. a simple act. a simple event. a simple fundraising ceremony.

actually.. life should be just full of simple things.
meaningful stuff. helping people. helping people makes them happy, makes you happy as well.

life should be like this.

我很想你。。你在忙的时候有没有想我？

他们说，“爱其实很简单。喜欢就说。想念就联络”

你不联络我，是不是不想我呢？

i went for my first acupuncture!

recommended by kh. ohh, nervous before that. dunno if its painful, dunno if it'll be good..

actually its quite fast.. the whole process took less than 5 mins? and i lie on the bed for abt 10 mins? then it was all over.. its painful in some places, no feeling in some places.. and so, the doc gave me chinese medicine.

i will continue to see her.. next week.

*****

met up with shalley, vincent and andrew. it was a happy gathering, unlike the last time where we brought up sensitive issues like religion.. haha.

it was happy.. shalley is pregnant.
congrats girl!!! and we will have an extra member for our gathering in future! we are all looking forward.. :-)

and vincent is getting prepared for his wedding next year.. in JB!
and yes, we have to make ourselves free!

i am so happy.. happy for them, happy that we chatted happily yesterday...
i am just happy...

i've been feeling.. dizzy recently.

my head goes round and round.... and i pop a sweet.. sometimes the sweet works, sometimes it don't....

my boy has been throwing tantrums recently. 我不要再打针了！！
he said that. he finally said that. i went speechless. i dunno how to answer him. my heart ached.

i know it has been hard on him. actually i am not a good caretaker. i will throw my temper at him if he doesn't listen to me. but i am just worried abt him..

BUT THEn.. how can i expect a 3 yr old kid to understand my worries and the situation that he is in????
sigh.

i talk to him everyday. i tell him the things that he should know abt himself. hoping that one day, he can understand it or make sense out of it..

am i expecting too much? suddenly, i dunno how to handle this.. dunno how to handle him.. he is my darling.

i just need to take a deep breath.. and continue to face this. continue to face him.

more communications.

no assumptions.

don't take things for grantd.

no jumping of conclusions.

爱其实很简单。喜欢就说。想念就联络。别顾虑或想太多！

- my sister

i failed.. i failed.. i failed!!
sigh.

although i had expected it when i hit the kerb. but i was still hoping for something good. perhaps the tester found me okay in everything else and will forgive me for hitting the kerb? gosh.. how naive i can get..

i veered off to the left when i was checking the blindspots.. and so, the car hit the kerb. and so, i failed.

i hate blindspots!!! hahaha..

upset. super upset. but i just cannot show to others. it was my fault and so, i have to answer for it. ok lor, try another time lor..

just have to keep trying...

i must say.. i feel better after seeing his sms... :)

feeling.. confused.
suddenly.. i feel unsure. unsure of the things happening around me.

unsure.. of everything else.

there are times where i will feel lost.. suddenly.

monday. he met me for lunch.

他的爱心饼干。。就足够让我感动很久。。

went marina square for lunch. walked around after lunch. i couldn't bear to go back to work. actually i could take half day to see him off.. but i felt bad abt taking last minute leave again. and so, i didn't.

both of us were walking so slowly.. as if wishing for time to stop at that moment or pass slower.

i was happy. cos i felt that the feelings came from the both of us, not just me alone. or maybe, he was just following my pace....

he met me. because i asked him to meet me again before he goes back.. right? haha.. if i din say that, would he meet me again?

vivo.. went toysrus.. yeah, baby's going to get his new toy!!

i wanted to say somethings again.. but i still did not managed to say.. argh, how come i find it so hard to say??

was pretty upset when he said he wasnt going dinner with me.. but then again, he has other friends to meet.. and i have to understand that.. nvm, give me time..

i liked it when he bought the sweet.. for me. just because i said i wanted sweet..

although i did not managed to say the things i wanted, but at least, i did the things i wanted.. to buy him somethings.. at least, when he use it, he will be reminded of me.. hopefully.

took mc/urgent leave. to keep him company. i wonder, would he feel stressed if he feel that i am doing too much things for him?

had korean food for lunch. then we went cathay to watch monsters vs aliens!

yes.. i do keep movie tickets, but not all.. the last time i kept movie tickets was all the movies i watched with my ex..

actually i had things to say that day.. but the words just couldnt come out of my mouth.. i just found it hard to say.. and i hated myself for that..

we walked.. to orchard.. and i am so glad that he liked the orchard central..

and then.. we parted again. and i did not say what i was supposed to say..

i went for my driving.. but it was bad driving.. hit kerb, the car wasnt straight when i parked.. in any case, it was just bad.

i felt .. demoralised.

i needed my answer. and so, i sms. we have the same fears. and the same feelings. i am glad.

seriously when i started asking, i am prepared for whatever answers, whatever that was coming in the future...

i dunno if he is prepared, if he is serious or if he knows what is abt to come..

he is a person.. who have no extreme likes... i dunno how strong is ur feeling for me or how long it will last..

golf at jurong country club.

sorry.. i was unfriendly again.. feeling abit shy.. feeling inferior abt my golf skills.. hahaha...

and it was practice again.. but i was doing badly.. i need more and more practice!!

supper time!!

i had the same feeling again.. he was cold.. again..

dinner at the jap restaurant at fairway country club. i joined, although i was feeling super tired.

took train together with him and his sister.. sorry i was abit unfriendly.. actually i din mean to, but im not that kind who will warm up very fast to strangers.. so sorry..

i realised something.. he is cold to me when we are infront of others.. hmm... why is that so?

took pm leave. met at bugis. it was a long wait. worse thing was i thought he was having lunch with me, in the end, he wasn't..

shopped ard.. ok, it was a long time since i shopped.

i ate sakae for lunch at abt 3pm plus.. but i kena suaned.. ok, nvm, i shall never bring him to sakae again.. LOL..

shopped ard in bugis.. then we went vivo for the movie, night at the museum 2..
there was a space in vivo, selling national geographic stuff.. we walked ard.. the things were interesting, i enjoyed the walk there with him..

went to sentosa at abt 9pm+.. it was a long walk.. it was hot.. but the feeling was so comfortable..

then we boarded the bus around sentosa.. and then it was already 11pm+.. we had to get out of sentosa..

the place doesnt matter.. the thing that matters is the one with you.. how true is that..

had macdonalds at harbourfront.. how i wished the time could stop.. at that moment...